On the day I received the first of my two greatest blessings from the Lord, before we even wheeled out of the birthing room, a devoid-of-joy delivery nurse looked at the precious and perfect baby boy in my arms and knowingly said, "Well, you know what they say. A son's your son til he takes a wife, but a daughter's your daughter all her life." With razor sharp sarcasm, she unwittingly (or perhaps intentionally) pricked a tiny little hole in the enormous bubble I was caught up in, planting the first nagging seed of potential loss in my already braced-for-loss "survivor's heart."
Barely able to choke back the tears, I blurted out to my then-husband, "Oh, not our son! Please promise we'll be the kind of parents our daughter-in-law will love, so we never lose our son!" He nodded his agreement, years away from the knowledge that his choices would eventually leave us parenting separately.
It's now been twenty-seven years. My son has miraculously and by the grace of God grown into the kind of man I prayed he'd be. I blinked and my baby became a man I admire and thoroughly enjoy - in spite of his lingering "boysness" and totally guy-like personality. He's an old soul in many ways, tender-hearted and loving, with an emotional awareness that comes perhaps with being raised for many years by a single mom. My deepest prayers have been answered - my son loves the Lord and is a good and decent person who blesses the world daily. Mothering him and his little brother has blessed me beyond measure, and completed me in ways nothing else has. Hands down, aside from my relationship with Christ, he and his brother bring me my deepest joys.
And he's taking a wife. They are soon to be married and my son's choice could not please me more. My future daughter-in-law is a kindred spirit of mine. She is more reserved at first than I, but sensitive and thoughtful in many of the same ways. She loves the Lord, and almost as importantly, loves my son in the way only a mother would pray for. I not only love her as my son's chosen, I genuinely like her and trust that she will allow us to share my son, and not take him from me as that foreboding nurse proclaimed.
I've been too looking forward to this new season my son is about to enter, and in my own soon to blossom relationship with my daughter-in-law, to focus on the potential loss. When that nagging little fear tries to deflate my joy, so far I'm choosing to trust that she and I will join forces and she will extend the same welcome into her family as I extend her into mine. She doesn't know it, and perhaps will never fully comprehend, but I have prayed for her my son's entire life. She didn't have a name, nor a face, but her identity was established years ago. She is the woman who will share the life of the man who through me, God gave life to. By His grace, she is the mother my grandchildren will rise up to call Blessed. The Lord chose her long before my son did, and I know both of their integrities well enough to trust their decisions!
It's an unchartered season we're entering, but I'm trusting that as in all others, the Lord will guide us in our maneuvering through it. I will embrace this new season, rather than try to cling to the familiar, as I have done so many times in the past. I am grateful that as my son trusts his God and his dreams enough to embark upon them, the Lord has begun to heal me of the wounds that kept me afraid to do the same.
It's been twenty-seven years, and yet it's been but a blink of the eye. As cherished as our past has been, in my spirit I know new blessings are ahead. I could not be more grateful, or more blessed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment